My Solo Trip with................ Kabir

        I am not sure if that's only with Kabir or with every kid out there, but they seem to be very much fascinated by trains. As Kabir's daadu (grandfather) is building a new home for his youngest bestie, we often travel to our native place to help him out and obviously, let Kabir enjoy the trains. But, this time it was a different experience altogether for all three of us. If you want to find out how, read along. You can even ignore the rest of it, if it seems boring !!

        The journey was planned as usual with me visiting home, but things got spiced up when Kabir's mom suggested to take along Kabir with me. I believe most of you (fathers and mothers) may not be ok with this idea of taking a 3.5 year old on a 2 day trip without his mom. But, when it comes to Kabir, we try to take the unconventional path, specially if it helps in his growth and development. So, we all embarked upon the first of a kind experience in our parenting journey:

1. Kabir spending 3N and 2D without his mom
2. Myself taking care of Kabir single handedly (supported by his grandparents)
3. Kabir's mom getting a break from parenting and having her own time (after 3.5 years)

        There were plenty of observations and moments that really took us on a roll, but the experience was something that parents should definitely try. A fellow passenger family in our coach had 2 kids travelling with their parents with kids one or two years elder than Kabir. They just had their dinner and were preapring to sleep but the boy had not taken his dinner properly and wanted to play. Meanwhile, I was having my usual conversation with Kabir over dinner, when I overheard the mother of the fellow passenger family saying this to his boy, "Dekho, wo baby apni mumma ke bina kitna achhe se khana kha raha hai aur bilkul nakhre nahi kar raha hai (Did you see that younger baby having dinner with his father while travelling without his mother and not throwing any tantrums?")

        The next event which followed was the most difficult part of the journey: sleeping with a baby in a train's 2nd AC coach right next to the door on a side lower berth (Indian Railways really does need to improve upon these berths or else change their seat allotment algorithm when one mentions that they are travelling with a kid without a separate seat for the child). I could hardy sleep for 2 hours in the whole night in chunks of not more than half an hour as my total attention was to let Kabir have his sleep properly. I did experience the sleep deprivation (on both the nights of our travel) which mothers have to go through with newly born babies and yet managing everything for their child.

        Kids will surprise you every other day given them a chance to be free and let them do what they want to do without any interruption. Generally, we try to defend the kids from dangerous situations by stopping them and without even letting them take their own actions for the coming threat. But magic happens when you let them what they are - "Pure and Fearless" ! For example, I was so much worried about reaching home from railway station without getting drenched in rain as it was raining cats and dogs when we reached our destination and I could not get a cab. Kabir said, "Koi baat nahi papa, apan ko car nahi mili to apan auto se chale jayenge (No worries dad, if we could not get a car, we can take the auto-rickshaw)". And then we enjoyed our ride to home in the auto-rickshaw with raindrops slowly washing out the fear inside me.

        My honest takeaways after this maiden trip with a child :

• There is a reason why moms are moms. I can now understand how they do it so effortlessly, which seems like a huge task for us (fathers)
• ⁠The societal conditioning of everyone till now has not changed a lot. Every person whom I met asked me the same thing : “Where is Kabir’s mom ?? / ye reh leta hai apni mumma ke bina (He is doing fine without his mom?) ” 
• ⁠The societal conditioning part-2 : Every household help engaged by us wanted a day off seeing that Kabir's mom is alone at home and hence there's not much work to do. Whereas when it's the other way round (when Kabir and his mom are out of station), they would be more regular and punctual than usual
• ⁠I will try to avoid sending Kabir and his mom alone in a train journey unless it’s too urgent. It’s just too much, even for an overnight journey
• In my opinion, moms take better care of their child individually (specially while travelling)
• ⁠⁠I felt like everyone should give me a medal for the task I accomplished, LOL! But, ironically society feels this way - "It’s just a job for a mom"
• Travelling is undoubtedly the important experience for everyone, specially for kids in their early age. It need not be far off places every time, but can be the same place with different people, at different times of the year, with a different travelling mode, with a different to-do list each time and so-on.

        So, please go ahead, on a trip, with a different perspective, with a child, with no agenda, but just for the experience: who knows what you may uncover along the way about yourself, about the world, about people, about nature, about your kid, about just everything that comes along the way !!